Joseph & Mrs. Potifar: A Lesson in Equanimity

When I was a teenager I was chronically dissatisfied. I spent most of my after-school hours at my best friend's house, wishing that I had her family (including her dog). I longed for adventure and romance, but pretty much experienced neither. (Or so it seemed to me.)

I couldn't wait to grow up and have a life that was other than what it was.

These days, although I am older and hopefully wiser, I am still aware of that inner voice which is quick to judge the present moment, longing for it to be other than what it is.

In the biblical tale of Joseph which we are currently reading in the annual Torah cycle, Potifar's wife is the embodiment of dissatisfaction. Joseph has been sold by his brothers into slavery, and comes to work in the home of Potifar, a wealthy Egyptian. Potifar's wife is smitten by this handsome young man, and attempts to seduce him. When Joseph rejects her repeated advances and finally flees from her, she howls in outrage and seeks revenge.

Thankfully, there is an alternative to being chronically dissatisfied - an alternative embodied in the character of Joseph himself. Although it is easy to read the Joseph story and conclude that in his youth he was a spoiled brat, here we catch a glimpse of another side to his personality.

Listen to how Joseph is portrayed in this episode: His father calls for him to go off in search of his brothers who hate him, and Joseph says simply "Here I am." His brothers throw him into a pit, and Joseph says - nothing. His brothers haul him out of the pit and sell him into slavery, and Joseph says - nothing. He goes to work in Potifar's home, and when Mrs. Potifar harasses him Joseph speaks only of his loyalty to Potifar and to God. When Potifar has him thrown into a dungeon for allegedly attacking Mrs. Potifar, Joseph says - nothing.

It is not until the conclusion of the episode that we hear Joseph mention his situation at all, and even then it is a very simple statement of fact. Joseph seems to accept with equanimity everything that happens to him. Things that seem to be fortune, Joseph (and the narrator) attribute to God rather than to Joseph's own actions. Things that seem to be misfortune, Joseph accepts without comment or describes matter-of-factly.

We hear no anguished, angry cry of "Why Me?" Neither do we see Joseph lapse into fatalism. Instead, Joseph thinks creatively of ways to change his situation for the better while still accepting that in this moment, this is his God-given life.

This story of Joseph's young adulthood offers us a model for responding to life's stresses. We can hear that inner voice which is constantly dissatisfied with the present moment, and we can choose not to give it the last word on reality. We can choose to believe, as Joseph ultimately does, that everything that happens to us can be seen in retrospect to have been part of a larger picture - leading us to be who we are in this moment.

Oy Chanukah

Chanukah is a funny holiday. The more you investigate it, the stranger it gets. Most of us know the basic story that we learned as children, about brave Judah and the Maccabees versus the evil Greek empire. But it turns out that there are several tellings of the story; and the more you investigate, the less clear it is who were the “good guys” and who were the “bad guys.” Add to that the historical fact that the Maccabee (Hasmonean) dynasty became corrupt within about a century of their victory, and were political opponents of the early rabbis, and the story gets even stranger!

In the United States, the proximity of Chanukah to Christmas eventually led to an emphasis on the giving of gifts on Chanukah. It has also led to the perception among Christians (and many Jews) that Chanukah is a major Jewish holiday – which it never was, likely because the rabbis who created what we know of as Judaism had reason to be wary of those corrupt Hasmoneans and what they stood for.

Meanwhile, we instinctively know what the ancients of all faiths also knew – that when it is cold and dark, it is good to gather together, light candles, eat food, sing songs, and acknowledge the blessings of freedom. May your experience of this year’s Festival of Lights be a joyous one.